Buckle up, parents, because we’re about to embark on the wildest adventure of all — the family road trip! 
Going on a family road trip can be both exciting and daunting. It's a chance to create unforgettable memories with your loved ones, but it also requires a lot of planning and preparation. 
I’m here to share some tips, activities, and fun ideas to make your family road trip an unforgettable experience. 
Whether you're traveling across the country or just taking a short weekend getaway, I’ve got you covered. So, pack your bags, buckle up, and get ready for an adventure.

Check your Blind Spots! 
Are you hemming and hawing over the long drive ahead, or are you embracing it as part of the adventure? Let's dig a little deeper with these coaching questions & get you in the right mindset for your adventure. 

What's the vibe you're sending?
How are you portraying the drive to your family? Is it a chore? A means to an end? Or rather, is it an adventure? Is this where your holiday begins?
Kids are so intuitive and pick up on whatever you're putting down. So, why not set the tone for positivity? Let them know how you're looking forward to this stretch of the trip. Which leads me to… 

Can you view the challenge as an opportunity?
I get it. It's a long time in the car with little people who will have many needs, be bored, need to stop for bathroom breaks & holler ‘are we there yet’ an endless amount of times. 
…AND…
it's also a time that you will have a captive audience and a chance to connect. How can you use this as an opportunity to:

• Bond as a family (playing games, listening to music or stories)
• Explore new places along the way
• Create family memories & traditions
• Be a role model -- your kids are ALWAYS watching…if you do it, there's a good chance they will also.
  • How do you respond to traffic?
  • Do you avoid distracted driving?
    
    

What's in (& out of) your control?
If I'm being real here, this is the hardest part of a road trip for me. There are so many things OUT of our control -- traffic & how everyone else will act while in the car for starters!

I find it helpful to know what I can control -- like having good snacks, an even better playlist, being comfortable…AND …controlling my perception & how I respond to problems and things out of my control! There's a good chance those tough moments will turn into fun family ”Do you remember the time…” stories you will all laugh and bond over someday.  

Roadblock Safety Concerns! 🛑
It’s always a good idea to be proactive and prepared for any potential issues.
Tune Up your Car — Give your car a once over before hitting the road! Check your tires, brakes, windshield wipers & fluids. Pack a tire gauge, tire lock key, fix a flat, and portable battery pack. Don’t forget your important documents like registration/insurance. 

Pack a Hygiene Kit - First Aid Kit, wipes, ziploc bags (for soiled clothes or messes that need containing!), hand sanitizer, small shopping bags (for garbage and/or car sickness), travel mouthwash, tide stick, anti-nausea meds and eye moisturizing drops (for contact lens wearers like me!)

Check the weather…for your entire route!  The weather may be very different on the way to your destination. Be prepared for any rain/storms anticipated along the way. This could give you time to plan an alternate route or take a food break while the storm passes.

Rest stop hack - When nature calls, consider stopping at a hotel to use their public facilities. The bathrooms are always cleaner than a highway rest stop and rarely busy (and a little safer!). Bonus → There are usually shops nearby for coffee and snacks!

Know your route - Plan ahead to know when & where to take rest stops.  You can use apps like roadtrippers or playgroundbuddy to find an area that has some sightseeing or space for a good stretch of the legs.


Cruisin’ for a Wheely Good Time!

Pack a Bag - Have your kids fill a backpack with their own (non-messy!) must haves. Items like crayons, paper, writing tablet, activity/sticker books, wikkistix, a favorite book, and a lovie that can double as a pillow.

What are you listening to? Put together a killer playlist, find a great family audiobook or podcast, we’ve even listened to clean comedians (like Jim Gaffigan) during our drives. It keeps everyone engaged, singing & laughing.

ABC’s of Your Trip - Label a paper A - Z. As you ride along, try to notice something to represent each letter. (ambulance, boat, car wash, etc) You can play this individually, competitively or as a family. For another way to play - on your drive home, create a list from A to Z of vacation memories! Have your kids make pictures to match the memory and make a photo book of it!

More Activities - There are so many classic games to play in the car. You can download my Road Trip Bingo here. I also love so many of the Melissa & Doug games. They have so many great car activities like the license plate game, hangman and scratch art. You can have your kids track your travels on GoogleMaps. And lastly, check with your local library for apps like Hoopla for streaming e-books, audio and videos.

And, that wraps it up, fearless road warriors! 
I hope these tips and tricks have filled your toolkit with all the essentials for an epic family road trip adventure! Buckle up, stay alert and let the laughter fuel your journey.

Can you recall a time you were having a problem with your child? 

Perhaps a situation when you were both focused on an agenda — two completely different agendas, that is! (Yours being the more rational agenda, of course — I see you, parents!)

Maybe your particular struggle is sibling rivalry, breaking away from screens or just getting out of the house on time…maybe it’s ALL of these things!

Whatever struggle you're facing with your child, you do your best to handle it. But does it feel like you are just stuck in an endless loop of frustration and yelling with your child? If this sounds familiar, I’d like to tell you that this is totally normal and happens to ALL of us!

Nobody is perfect. Parenting is hard. Kids push all the right buttons at all the wrong times. And yet, there is hope! 

If your child’s meltdowns are melting you down, I have a few thoughts and ideas for you.

Separate the problem from your child
Your child is not the problem, your child is having a problem. Brain development and sensory integration play a big role in your child’s meltdowns — keep in mind, tantrums are a totally normal part of development! Children don't have the life experience or tools to recognize, anticipate, manage and/or regulate big emotions that can lead to meltdowns.
​
When you separate the problem from your child, it’s easier to see yourselves as teammates ready to work towards solutions together.

Reframe your thoughts
Quick tip → The next time you're feeling frustrated with your child, try reframing your thoughts to a more positive mindset.

It pains me to admit, but I can be a wasteful person…with the best intentions, of course! Each week at the grocery store, like many parents, I buy a bunch of fruit.  Not just the simple ‘wash/peel & go’ varieties like apples and bananas, I buy the more high maintenance varieties like whole cantaloupe and pineapple.  

I love having these beauties on hand because I want to have healthy snacks for the family, and I feel like I’m getting the best bang for my buck by avoiding the upcharge for pre-sliced fruits. 

So, I buy those oversized pieces of fruit, lug them home and set them on the counter with the intention to cut them up sometime soon. And, as you can guess, ‘sometime soon’ is often not soon enough!

I’ll walk past that cantaloupe and think, “Oh! I have to remember to cut that up today!”  The next day, I’ll walk past it and think, “Ugh. I reeeeally need to cut that up! Don’t forget!” — Spoiler alert, I’ll forget! Soon that sorry looking piece of fruit will be past its prime and no longer edible. Next thing you know, I’m secretly burying that melon in the trash to avoid having to explain my wasteful behavior to my family.

As I’m hiding the cantaloupe in the trash, I’m overcome with guilt and disappointment.  My inner judge goes into hyperdrive: “Why are you so wasteful? You are so lazy! All you had to do was cut the fruit! You couldn’t even find time for that? Just like all the other things you ‘never’ find time for. Way to go…”  And, boom! Just like that, I’m in a crummy mood and a step away from snapping at the next person who crosses my path the wrong way.

Then it occurs to me, am I really allowing a piece of fruit to determine my self-worth and mood for the day?!?! Am I going to allow this to get the best of me, leaving my family with the worst of me?

Let’s be honest, the moral of this story is not about cutting fruit. It’s really about cutting yourself some slack! It’s a reminder that it’s ok to reprioritize and let things go in order to make space for what truly matters in your life — your well being and family connections.  

Parenting is hard, even on the best days. And on those tough ‘seriously, why me?!?’ days, parenting can feel even harder! When we are overloaded with stress, we just don’t have the capacity to deal with one more negotiation, one more request, one more tantrum. Rather than showing up as the calm, rational parent, on those days there’s a greater likelihood to overreact and blow up.

In the book, How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids, Dr. Carla Naumburg encourages parents to take care of themselves so they can show up for their kids with less drama, and more patience and calmness. She believes when parents notice themselves losing it with their kids, it’s usually a red flag that something is going on within themselves. Things like negative self-talk, overscheduling, trying to do it all, lack of self care, not enough sleep, anxiety, chronic pain, disorganization, unresolved trauma, financial worries, life changes…get the idea?

The good news? We can work towards a solution! Naumburg offers three suggestions to help parents get through their day feeling less triggered and more calm.

Step 1: Realization
Realize what your triggers are, and identify the moments you are feeling triggered. When you catch yourself, take notice if you are tired, hungry, struggling with pain, going through a life change, dealing with clutter, or have too much on your plate.  How do you react when you’re feeling triggered? Do you yell? Slam doors? Become passive-aggressive? Tear yourself down with negative self talk?

Step 2: Acceptance
When you realize you are in a state of feeling triggered, allow yourself some self-compassion. Don’t let that inner judge shoot you down even more! Accept that you are triggered. Pause. Take a deep breath and get ready to work out a plan.

Step 3: Action
Now that you are aware of what is going on, what can you do about it? Is there something you can change at that moment? Are you expecting too much right now? Perhaps there is something you can let go of? Like I said earlier, where can you cut yourself some slack?
Could you consider:

• Taking a break
• Get to bed early
• Putting your phone away
• Letting go of perfection and order 
• Being more compassionate with yourself 
• Allowing yourself to be more flexible
• Learning to say ‘no’ to unnecessary activities that don’t fulfill you
• Letting go of the ‘shoulds’ 
• Asking for help and relying on outside resources

Caring for your own needs is necessary in order to take care of others. Self-compassion can help preserve your patience and allow you to be more present for yourself, your loved ones and your priorities. 

Moving forward, I plan on being kinder to myself. No more allowing fruit to bring me down, cluttering up my mind with criticism and stealing my patience. No more wasted energy and stress from ruminating on negative self talk. Next time at the grocery store, I plan to cut myself some slack and head straight for the refrigerator section for the sliced fruit! 

Where will you cut yourself some slack? How will you give yourself a break today? 

“My kids just don’t listen!” is something I commonly hear from my coaching clients. Truth be told, I often feel this way myself!  

Does this sound familiar? You find yourself talking to your kids in a lecturey kind of way. You get caught up in delivering continuous directions, reminders, rationales and lectures. Nag, nag, nag, nag.  

And often, your kids may come back at you with the eye roll or ignore you with that glazed-over look. Sometimes they may reward you with a redundant, hollow 'uh-huh’ as a response. While other times, sass-talk is their preferred comeback.  

No matter your child’s age, if your request doesn’t line up with their agenda, kids may just block out the noise. This delicate dance of parental requests and children failing to follow through can lead to a power struggle of epic proportions, leaving both parties feeling disappointed.

This frustration may have us thinking, “My kids just don’t listen” or “My kids are so difficult!”  But is that really true? Children may feel difficult at times, but are they really difficult or are we just missing something? What if we made a shift to look at the situation from a different angle? A perspective that encourages us to approach our children with curiosity, empathy and compassion. A perspective that allows us to get to the root of the issue and remove the power struggle.  

How would it feel to change the narrative using a positive framework that offers an opportunity for change and growth? For example, rather than thinking, “My kids just don’t listen,” try, “My kids and I are having a hard time communicating well.” This framework identifies communication as the problem, rather than the children.    

A constant stream of telling our kids what to do is not ideal for creating independent thinkers, problem solvers and doers. Keeping communication short and sweet may be more helpful. Think of it like the Minimalist movement - Less is More!  

The Minimalist movement is more than decluttering your space á la Marie Kondo. The idea of Minimalism is not to declutter often, but to restructure your mindset to understand that less is more all the time. It’s about shifting your habits and beliefs around how you approach materials like your furnishings, your clothing, your foods, etc.  

How would it feel to approach words in a similar way? Creating a shift in your mindset to declutter your language and let the important words take center stage. Communicating in a way that aligns with your values and supports the kind of people you would like your children to become? 

Here are 5 strategies that use Less Words to get More Cooperation!

1 - Walk the Talk!! 
Your children may not hear everything you say, but they certainly see everything you do!  And they are pickin’ up whatever it is you are puttin’ down. Think of it this way - a gardener tends very carefully to a newly planted seedling. For quite some time, it may seem as if nothing is happening until one day a shoot finally pops up! There was very important work happening below the soil that the gardener could not see! Be patient with your kids, model what you value and hope to take shape. Your kids are noticing and forming their roots, too!

2 - Connection is Key
A child at play is a child with an agenda! It's tough for children (AND adults!) to stop an activity they are enjoying. Expecting your child to switch gears quickly can be tricky. A sudden pump on the brakes may certainly get some pushback! Take a moment to connect with your child before giving a direction or making a request. Click here for 10 Tips for Connecting with your child.

3 - Ask Questions & Get Curious
Open-ended questions can help promote autonomy and strengthen problem-solving skills. By asking questions, the child is invited to become a part of the process. Some questions may look like this:

• What will you need to do so you’re ready for practice?  How much time should that take? What should you do next? How can I support you? What is your plan?

4 - Foster Independence 
You can reduce your language and promote independence with the following strategies:

• Use a timer - You can use an oven timer, an egg timer, the timer on your phone or even a sand timer for visual learners! I love using timers because it lessens the power struggle by taking the parent out of the equation. Here are a few ways to incorporate a timer into your routine: 
  • Set the timer for a chunk of time to complete an activity (For example, ‘2 minute tidy up’ or 20 minutes to focus on math homework, etc.)
  • Use the timer as a warning that a transition is about to happen. (I’m setting the timer for 2 minutes and then it will be time for lunch)
  • *PRO-TIP* Give your kids some control of the timer! Consider allowing your kids to help choose how much time they need, choose the sound/music for the alarm, or be the one who starts/turns off the timer.

• Use measurable actions - If you don’t have access to a timer, consider using something physical or visual to measure time. For example: 
  • “Three more pushes on the swing and then it’s time to go.” 
  • “When this show is over, we’ll get ready for the tub”
  • *PRO-TIP* Allow your child some agency. Let them choose how many pushes on the swing before leaving the park; Let them click the remote control to turn off the tv.
• Use a schedule - Create a list or picture schedule for simple routines. Children can quickly learn routines and build their independence as they follow along with a schedule. The best part is parents can use very limited language! Simple statements like, “What’s next?” or “Now what will you do?” may be all the prompting you need!
  • Make schedules for wake-up routine, bedtime routine, or getting off to school. For older kids - after school/homework routine, getting chores completed, etc. 
  • Creating schedules can be as easy as writing a list, creating drawings by hand, using cutouts from a magazine, or utilizing free websites like Canva to print out images.
  • *PRO-TIP* Laminate your pictures and use velcro to stick them to a surface. Your kids can remove each step as they move through the schedule. 

5 - Allow Your Child Some Space
Not everything is an emergency or a ‘must do right now.’ Reduce the power struggle by allowing your child some control when appropriate.

• Consider giving your child a ‘needs to be completed by’ time to take the pressure off getting something done immediately.
• Ask your child when they would like to complete an activity. (“Would you like to brush your teeth before or after you get dressed?” or “It’s your turn to walk the dog. When will you fit that into your afternoon?”)
• If using a schedule, consider allowing your child to create the order of the routine. (You need to brush your teeth, put on pj’s and use the toilet before bedtime. What would you like to do first, second and third?)

Take the frustration out of communication. Less is more!  Our kids do listen, we just have to speak less so they can hear.  

​

​‘Life’ has been happening in my house, in a very ‘extra’ kind of way. My regular hustle-bustle has been met with challenges outside of my control, and keeping up with it all has been quite the task. I’ve found myself saying things like, “Ok, as soon as I get through (fill in the blank), things will slow down.”  I’ve found myself feeling depleted, short-tempered, scattered, and just not feeling my best.  You know when you’re burning the candle at both ends? Well, it’s like my candle has been completely engulfed in flames. 

I know I’m in good company here. Many of my clients come to me with similar struggles. I often hear comments like, “I feel like I’m just putting out fires in my house!” or “We’re drowning over here.”  So many of us are good, busy parents trying to balance everything, feeling spread too thin and then falling short where it really counts.

Many parents I know work so hard just to stay afloat of the nonstop demands, and the constant push and pull of their attention holds them back from feeling successful. These ‘tidal wave’ parenting moments make it hard for parents to find their footing, and nearly impossible to keep up with all the demands.

We operate as best we can in ‘survival mode’ to keep up when we’re feeling stuck and overwhelmed. We may find ourselves making decisions that do not align with our values. We may tend to go against our better judgment. We may feel short tempered, impatient and reactive rather than responsive with our children. Have you ever found yourself caught up in this tidal wave?

I had been treading water for quite some time before realizing I was truly over my head and getting tossed around my own tidal wave. Ideally, I’d like to have this awareness BEFORE getting completely caught up, but we’re all a work in progress, right? 

Don’t let that tidal wave bring you down! Here are some tips to help you feel more grounded so you can find your footing!

Check-in with yourself

• When you have the awareness that something is off, pause.  Quiet the noise.  Check-in with yourself. You are a good parent going through a tough time!
• Get curious. Are you getting it all done? Are you getting it all done well? Is the pressure triggering you? Who or what may be suffering from your attention being pulled in so many directions? 
• How can you reframe these challenges and see them as opportunities for growth or change?

Reassess & Reprioritize 

• This is the great time to check in with your values.  How well are you aligned with your values at the moment?  Get a copy of my Values Wheel here to help you see where your alignment could use some adjusting. 
• Take some time to make a list of your priorities, keeping the highest priorities at the top of your list. Those last few items at the bottom of your list, go ahead and scratch them off! It’s ok! Toss the guilt and scratch them for now. They’ll still be there later when you have more bandwidth, or maybe you’ll find out they weren’t that important after all! 

Take Charge!

• Know your resources. Is there a service that can lighten your load? Can you call on a professional for help or advice? (a teacher, doctor, house cleaner, delivery service?)
• Reframe the thought  “I have to…” into “I get to…” This simple shift in thinking may help you see your ‘must-dos’ in a new light. 
• Slow down. Allow yourself to tap into all your senses to notice the beauty around you, and indulge in some small moments of self-care. 
• Take control and be more intentional with your calendar. Buy yourself some extra time by chunking similar activities together and scheduling small moments of self care throughout the day. 
• Consider asking for help. (I am the BIGGEST culprit here! I find it so difficult to ask for help, but I am working on it! And, you should too.) Your friends and family truly want to help, you just need to communicate that! It might sound like this, “I could use some help and I’m not always comfortable asking.”  It really can be that simple. 

When I finally followed my own advice, I found that pushing pause on my newsletters and blogs would give back some time and relieve some of the ‘must do’ pressure I was feeling. By reassessing my values and reprioritizing my responsibilities, I gave myself permission to shelf some tasks and direct my focus where it was truly needed — on my relationships with family, friends and clients.

Reprioritizing can be scary at first. It may feel like you’re neglecting something, when in fact, you will actually be focusing your attention exactly where it’s most needed.  Reprioritizing allows you to use your energy in the most productive way while still keeping your values intact. Toss the guilt, get clear on your values and priorities, and find your footing!