Prep Ya'Self Before You Wreck Ya'Self!

Prep Ya'Self Before You Wreck Ya'Self!

Do you love 'The Holidays' but dread the way these special days unfold for your kids?  Are you apprehensive about the change in routine for the winter holiday season?  If so, you are not alone, my friend! You are not alone! While the holidays can be a joyous time to spend with family and loved ones, the events may also involve some tense moments and conversations.  

When my children were younger, my husband and I would have mixed feelings towards the big celebration days. While they were fun in many ways, all that ‘fun’ would throw our kiddos for a loop!  After the anticipation of the special events and having all the said ‘fun’, we’d spend the next few days recouping from the ‘holiday crash.’ 

Each year, we’d cross our fingers hoping things would just work out and our kids would go with the flow. But that rarely happened. It was the same ol’ pressure cooker of events. The lack of routine, uncomfortable clothes, large groups, noisy atmosphere, different foods, late evenings — it was all too much for our kids.  They’d have fun for a little while, and then the day would begin to unravel. They would begin to cry and tantrum, be difficult, consume too much sugar, become overstimulated and ultimately get in the car and cry the whole way home from being over tired and uncomfortable in their own skin.  The next few days would be spent trying to get back on a schedule and sort out a dysregulated sensory system.

We felt so much pressure on us as parents — more than likely, all in our heads, but nonetheless, we felt the pressure!  Trying to manage the tantrums, listening to everyone’s ‘best parenting tips’, getting upset with our kids’ behavior (and each other!) and wondering why we were failing, what were we doing wrong, and what was wrong with our kids?  

Nothing. There was nothing wrong with our children. There was also nothing wrong with us as parents. We just needed to be more ‘strength-focused’ and aware of our abilities as a family.  We needed to be clear on our values and priorities, and feel comfortable and confident with our own parenting decisions. We needed to take some time to prepare our mindset and have a better perspective for the day ahead.

The main idea surrounding the holiday season is CONNECTION!  If you’re putting out fires all day, feeling stressed, overwhelmed and stretching yourself too thin, well then, you’re missing the point of the season. 

Are you looking to prepare your mindset and have a better perspective on the day?  Are you interested in handling tense situations with grace and clarity?  I’ve created three self-reflection questions to help you prepare your family for a better experience.

How can you prepare yourself to feel comfortable and grounded in your decisions and your parenting this holiday season?  Can you...

• Keep in mind your values and priorities?
• Remember you are the parent and know your children best?
• Understand that you are not responsible for how other adults choose to react to their feelings?
• Prepare for unsolicited advice with a kind remark that appreciates how others choose to parent while affirming your own choices?
• Find a way to incorporate small moments of self-care into the day? (Step outside for some quiet, practice your breathing, etc.)

How can you shift your mindset and have a better perspective this holiday season? Can you…

• Remind yourself that holding boundaries is a form of self-care?
• Find a mantra that gives you peace and clarity?
• Keep in mind, if your child is challenging, it’s because she is having a hard time, not giving you a hard time?
• Allow yourself some grace if things don’t go as planned?

How can you make the day easier for yourself and your child?  
Can you…

• Work your arrival/departure around your child’s sleep schedule?
• Remember this is not forever? Lean into the change of routine knowing this is temporary. You will turn this ship right-side-up again soon.
• Plan for breaks (take a walk, find a quiet room for a book, etc)?
• Help prevent a sensory overload? Consider packing a cozy change of clothes, some familiar foods &/or noise-canceling headphones?

Allow these questions to guide you, and ultimately, trust your gut!  You know what is best for your family and what you can manage. When you are true to yourself and your immediate family’s needs, the time you spend with loved ones can feel much more special and meaningful. 

One more thing - if you're looking for ways to connect with your kids, download my free e-booklet here!  You'll find 10 tips to help you connect with your children to help keep behavior from escalating. It could come in handy this holiday season!  

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