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Keepin' it Real Blog

Small Changes for Big Results

5/2/2021

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Small Changes for Big Results

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Think about your past New Year’s resolutions.  Have you ever kept a resolution just because you ‘told’ yourself to do something new? If so, I’m super impressed! But, many of us need to put some changes in place before the resolution sticks.  For instance, if the resolution is to start going to the gym, you may lay your clothes out and fill a water bottle the night before, perhaps reserve a spot in class or get a training buddy to hold you accountable. In other words, we adjust our environment to reduce the friction and increase our chances for success. 
So, why would it be any different for children? Telling kids to do something new rarely works. How can you support your child to change their behavior in a way that promotes success and independence?  Think of an area your child (and/or you) may be struggling with. If you widen your lens and shift your perspective, can you find one small change in your environment you could implement to get a different (hopefully, more positive) response from your child?

Looking for some ideas?  Let’s discuss - 
Routine - Does your child have a tough time following along with a routine? (getting ready in the morning? Bedtime routine?)
  • Is it possible to change up the routine a little to see if things jive better in a different order?
  • Could you put a visual schedule in place to help your child be more independent, motivated and confident while getting through the steps of the routine?
  • Consider giving your child a choice and allowing some autonomy in the routine: ‘What would you like to do first, eat breakfast or get dressed?’ 

Behavior - For example, is your child melting down during transitions?
  • Could your child use more of a warning before switching gears? 
  • Could you incorporate natural changes or visual tactics into your transition plan? ‘When the timer goes off in one minute, it’s time to clean up.’ or ‘When the lifeguard says it’s time for adult swim, we will pack up and head home.’ 
  • Allow your child to have some input in the transition, “How many turns will you take before we clean up? Three or Four?” 

Following Directions - Does your child have a hard time following through with directions?
  • Is your language appropriate for your child’s age? Simple directions, or sometimes just modeling/initiating the behavior could help. 
  • Could you make any physical changes in your environment to make the task easier? For instance, if you’re hoping for more independence getting ready to leave the house, could you have shoes, jacket, backpack, etc all in one place near the door when it’s time to go?  Or maybe if your child has a hard time putting away toys, could you limit the amount of toys she has access to - or - use a timer with a ‘ready, set, go’ to make a little game of it? 
While most families have similar struggles, every family is special and unique. Each  family has different backgrounds, upbringings, personalities and values. Because of this, no one solution will ever be a good fit for all families. It’s important to look at your unique situation and tweak small changes that feel right for your family.  What small change could you put in place today to help your child be more successful?   

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    Author

    Rebecca Murphy, Certified PCI® Parent Coach.
    Keepin' it Real in the Jersey 'burbs with my hubby and 2 kids.


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